winds of change

"tell me something new"

I told myself and anyone who cared to listen to me worry, that "if I didn't get into art school, my whole existence will have been a lie". That is not neccessarily true in the empirical sense because even though I did get accepted and have begun to register or classes (a fucking nightmare, I despise post secondary already), basic logic and the physical laws of the universe have reassured me that I would still exist if it had been otherwise.

Now looking ahead to the fall, I have developed an irrational fear of the future. Although I pressume this is the nature of freshmen, i remain rendered wih gutless apprehension.

So far, in preparation for this transition between academically tormented hormonal high school kid to artistically perplexed and socially confounded university student, I've laid out my furniture in what seems like a preferable fashion (although, the preference may change in a few weeks, thus the layout), and begun scouring for bargains on art supplies and a fall wardrobe.

It's a diesease; how I always think about clothes suitable in the fall and winter before the summer temperatures, laid back attitudes and planned trips to the beach can even organize themselves in my mental agenda.

NOTA BENE: I actually hate the beach, but when I say this, I think what i am really saying is i hate trying on bathing suits, and in doing so, I have developed a loathing for what bathing suits are for. However, I do take the time to admire and agree with friends that their latest beach garment (or lack there of) is cute and that it was a reasonable price for something you only wear two months and get sick of halfway through the first. Just saying.

I have completely digressed from the topic of intention for this entry. So much, that I have forgotten the direction of my compositon. Any attempt to salvage it at this point would just result in incessant babble or a piece about the ineffectuality of the beach. You may have to take into consideration that it is 3am, why am I awake? (I would say jet lag, but I haven't gone anywhere that would induce a blip in my sleeping habitsl; but I wish I could because my life would seem less monotonous) I guess you could say my will to blog compells me to summon energy, but not coordination or astuteness.

good night the world wide web